Enemies!

Mother

She forces me to watch terrible "vampire" movies. She acts like she doesn't even know what a vampire is.

Father

He refuses to engage with the fact that I am a vampire. He also smells like wood.

Charles

You know what you did.

Werewolves

I hate you freaks. Stay the hell out of the Vampire Abyss, lycanthropes.

Cowboys

Same as above.

Stephenie Meyer

Twilight is the worst piece of film or literature I've everhad the displeasure of being forced to see. It is the worst think ever. Fuck you Stephenie.

Lesser Enemies

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Quentin Tarantino

Abraham Lincoln

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